
5- 12-year-olds
134 pages
Blurb
Billy Plonka – the Prince of Stink, the Monarch of Muck, the Sultan of Slime, the Duke of Dregs and the King of Kak. He’s the most extraordinary maker of GROT in the entire world, and he’s invited 5 individuals (Orson Ploop – An overweight kazoo playing protégé; Victoria Scabb – 259th in line to the English throne; Viola Mudguard – 11-year-old, ex-Wollywood star; Spike Peecee – A self-obsessed dweeb who can never disconnect from the Internet; and Marley Suckett – An anti-hero), to visit his world-famous Grot Laboratory, and step into an adventure they will never forget!
Your tour is about to start. Don’t wander off . YOU! Yes, YOU! I’m talking to YOU! Mr. Plonka would hate to lose you along the way… READ IT!!! BILLY PLONKA AND THE GROT LABORATORY- the 100% unofficial official parody of one of the greatest children’s stories of all time.
This modern re-telling of the Roald Dahl’s ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ stays true to the wonderful wit of Dahl, but brings the tale into the modern age with a lovely twist at the end. Each character meets their grotty fate as they go on their tour of The Grot Laboratory – as the name suggests, a disgusting place full of scumpiddlinoxious fumes and materials. Words reminiscent of Dahl fill the pages – Whi-ffi (it’s like wifi only smellier), whazzplop and picklescooper to name but a few.
My Review
Thanks to Kelly at Love Books Tours for organising this blog tour and to the publisher for sending me a copy of this book.
This is a parody of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. Instead of an amazing chocolate factory with Oompa Lumpers, there’s the grot laboratory with Grumpy Trumpers. Billy Plonka isn’t the cheery, slightly creepy proprietor, but a messy, rather unpleasant, tricky person.
Marley Suckett is the biggest bully in town from the worst family in town. He lives with his parents and grandparents in a broken down, filthy caravan among years of waste and small stolen items. The family are expert criminals but they don’t think big.
When Plonka announces a competition to tour his laboratory Marley does his best to find a winning scratch card. With luck, and a bit of theft, he gets the last card, and plans to rob Plonka blind. Things don’t go quite to plan.
This 21st century parody of Roald Dahl’s popular novel, and the films made based on it, is really quite amusing. The illustrations go a long way towards helping with that.
Especially the Grumpy Trumper illustration…
There are fewer songs than in the original Gene Wilder film, certainly, but they are quite funny. Full of great rhymes and nonsense words that just trip off the tongue or leave you tongue-tied.
It’s utterly filthy! In a good way. There’s grot and garbage everywhere. The descriptions are awful. It reeks of rotten cabbage and sick skunk. Small children will love it. It appeals to their gross sense of humour. The author has been a children’s entertainer and children’s book author for years, and it shows. He has caught the tone of the original and parodied it perfectly.
It’s silly and I like it. The writing is fluid and easy to read. This book would make a good bedtime story book, or a first novel for a newly confident reader. I especially liked the footnotes with explanations of long words and added jokes.
Ian Billings (Author)

Find him at www.ianbillings.com
Follow him at @mrianbillings
Ian Billings was born at a very young age. He has done many things in his time and some of them he’d like to tell you about. He is an ex-juggler, a pantomime writer (fifty productions!), an actor, TV extra, a theatre technician, a university lecturer, a model and a general dabbler in many areas.
He has written episodes of BBC TV’s Chuckle-Vision and his stage plays and pantomimes have been performed in Wolverhampton, Northampton, Hastings, Nottingham, Weston-Super-Mare and on a ferry to Spain. He has a Masters Degree from Birmingham University and two goldfish from Petworld. He is five feet and seven inches in length and avoids cheese.
Ian began performing stand-up comedy for kids at Edinburgh Festival Fringe (whilst also presenting his own radio show for Festival FM!) and now he tours theatres and schools throughout the UK, Cyprus, Germany, Australia, Uganda, Kenya, Russia, Switzerland, UAE, Oman, Vietnam and Thailand. He was described by one young audience member as “the most imaginative adult I’ve ever met!”
Caboodle Books reprinted SAM HAWKINS AND THE POINTY HEAD LIGHT HOUSE followed by sci-fi poetry collection, SPACE ROCKS!
Ian has edited an anthology of children’s poems for Save the Children called “Born to Giggle!” and his latest book is “BILLY PLONKA AND THE GROT LABORATORY.”
2020 saw re-issues of his classic children’s comedies “Sam Hawkins and the Cutglass Cutlass” and “Chocolate Meltdown” from Tiddley Pom Books together with new versions of “The King’s New Space Suit”, “I’ve Got Your Nose” and two brand new books, “There’s a Vampire in My Bedroom” and “Boooo!!!”
Visit him at www.ianbillings.com and follow him on Twitter @mrianbillings
