Review: ‘Who Needs Mr Darcy?’

Jean Burnett

2012

Sphere (Little Brown Book Group)

Opening at Pemberley in September 1815 and concluding aboard a ship to Brazil in 1818, this novel follows ‘The adventures and exploits of the bad Miss Bennet’. Lydia Wickham, married three years and widowed at Waterloo, when her husband had the decency to die in battle (although not as heroically as Lydia was telling people), is at a loose end. Currently in residence at Pemberley, living as a dependant of her humourless brother-in-law Darcy and her sister Lizzy, Lydia dreams of escape, of London, Paris and Lord Byron, of making her fortune by marriage to a rich man and dancing among the fashionable world at Almack’s. She has become her husband’s mirror image. Darcy wants rid of her, and Lydia is eager to be got rid of, provided she can have an allowance from her relatives and the freedom to do whatever she wants.

By subterfuge Lydia gets her way and travels to London to stay with the impecunious and immoral Selena and Miles Caruthers, friends from her days as an army wife. On the way she is robbed by a handsome highwayman, in London she plays with marked cards and becomes involved with a banker. Travelling to Brighton she meets the Prince Regent, becomes involved in a murder and robbery, and is kidnapped by her highwayman

Eventually Lydia finds her way to the no longer fashionable Bath, as her banker is arrested and she acquires a new admirer. Plans are made for Paris, but first she must go to Pemberley. Here a letter arrives from Longbourne; Kitty, who Lydia has kept informed of all her adventures, has had an attack of conscience and drops Lydia in it up to her neck. Sent away to be a companion to a rich, elderly widow (it was that or the asylum, suitable husbands not being forthcoming) in Bath, Lydia despairs.

Until she hatches a plan and her employer is persuaded to end her retired life and go to the Continent. Lydia is ecstatic and finally gets to see Paris and Venice. But her past catches up with her and she is forced to work for the British Government in a delicate matter.

This Lydia is has learnt no restraint, no humility or respectability. She is as immodest, reckless and ignorant as would be expected from the youngest Bennet girl. She blames all her misfortunes on others and takes no responsibility for her actions. She sees her family as interfering, disapproving and spiteful.

She is not an endearing character at all, and the plot has too much gothic extravagance about it to be very enjoyable, and yet I raced through this novel. More could have been made of the royal intrigue, financial scandal and international politics, which are the main drivers of the plot and which effect Lydia’s fate the most, but the story, like it’s narrator is rather shallow. Leaving Lydia and her criminal beau aboard ship and bound for Brazil clearly leaves the way open for a sequel should the author choose to pen one.

I think this would have been a fun book, in the mould of Regency romances, if the main character had been an original rather than a pale attempt at writing Lydia Bennet. Jean Burnett simply does not write Lydia Bennet as well as Jane Austen drew her two hundred years ago. The character is a flat caricature. It’s enjoyable enough I suppose but I wouldn’t go out and buy it. That’s what the library is for.

And that is all I have to say on the subject.

Bye,

Rose

In none writing related news…well, actually…

I have a job interview next week.

If I get the job I’ll probably be working twelve hour shifts, which means I’ll have less time for writing, but more money to do the things I like to write about. It’ll work out somehow. I’m not going to stop writing just because I finally get a decent lab job.

That’s it, that’s all I was going to say.

Hang on, no it’s not.

I was reading ‘The shifting price of prey’ by Suzanne McLeod, but I couldn’t get into it, despite enjoying the earlier books in the ‘Spellcrackers.com’ series. It’s going back to the library. I might take it out again in the future.

Books I’m looking forward to reading this year include:

The Science of Discworld IV by Terry Pratchett, Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart
Published 11th April 2013

The Long War by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter
Published 20th June 2013

Albums I am looking forward to hearing this year:

Fall Out Boy
‘Save Rock and Roll’
15th April 2013

Sacred Mother Tongue
‘Out Of The Darkness’
15th April 2013

HIM
‘Tears on Tape’
29th April 2013

30 Seconds to Mars
‘Love, Lust, Faith + Dreams’
21st May 2013

I intend to review them all.
And now I must go, I’ve got a computer booked at the library in ten minutes.

Bye Bye

Rose

Review: The Magical Castle, Cleethorpes

If any of you follow my Twitter (no? don’t worry about it, I’m not very interesting) you’ll know I went to a child’s birthday party last Wednesday (27/03/13). It wasn’t any old party though; as a treat for the child in question it was held at ‘The Magical Castle’ in Cleethorpes, Lincolnshire.

The Magical Castle is an indoor play centre. It’s like a giant climbing frame with ball pits, slides, zip lines, a climbing wall and bouncy castle, for children and those of us adults who occasionally act like children. They do parties, if you book. It’s quite popular but I’ve never been before.

The ‘Castle’ structure is extensive with separate areas for very young children and a ‘party room’ that has been made to look like a circus tent and room for at least thirty guests. There is also a café for those who don’t fancy chasing around after their kids. It’s £1.40 for a tea or coffee, £1.30 for a scone or teacake. They also do wraps, naked potatoes, and chips for fairly reasonable prices.

The staff I met and spoke to were very friendly and helpful. They wanted the birthday boy to have a good time, and provided a treasure hunt for the party as well as the food. The party food was actually quite nice. Basic and it wouldn’t have fed the 10 children it was supposed to be for, except possibly the cocktail sausages, of which there were plenty. There was a choice of three types of sandwiches, chips and pizza slices, fruit and veg sticks, and cocktail sausages and sausage rolls, followed by jelly and ice-cream. The ice-cream was good quality, as was rest of the food provided and the fruit squash.

As a place to take the children if you happen to be in Cleethorpes and it’s raining it’s  not bad. The admission fee varies between school holidays, weekends and bank holidays, and weekdays (it’s slightly cheaper) and by age of child; one free adult per child, £1.00 for each extra adult. As a place for a children’s party I would recommend it (from £8.95 a child). But book early if you want it on a Saturday, make sure you have more than ten children coming and take you own cake. They don’t provide the cake. The party bags are quite good as well. I put mine in the play box I keep for any visiting monsters. It had a colouring books, crayons, puzzle, stickers etc although the pink ‘princess’ theme was a bit much even if it does fit with the décor of the attraction.

For more information their website is:

http://www.magicalcastle.co.uk/

I shall be off now,

Rose

 

 

Restaurant Review: The Barge, Grimsby

29th March 2013

 

I’m sat on The Barge

Bored

Waiting for my food

 

I can’t drink because I’m on my

Scooter

And my head feels funny

Because I’m

Waiting for my food

 

It’s always worth the

Wait

Though because the food

At The Barge

Is the best in

Grimsby

 

So I’ll sit here

People watching and writing

Waiting for my food

 

Yes, while waiting I composed a poem about The Barge. I had little else to do except write and wait for my meal. I’ve eaten at this particular place a few times and never been disappointed.

The Barge is a popular place to eat and drink in Grimsby, especially for those who enjoy their music heavy (the most ‘pop’ music I’ve ever heard on their jukebox was Bon Jovi, and that’s only during the day. After 5pm it gets heavier and louder). Today it is particularly busy, their ‘2 jumbo fish, chips and peas for £14.99’ offer might have something to do with that. Despite its popularity The Barge is never packed during the day.

I ordered the ‘Barge Gourmet Burger’ for £7.95 and the special ‘Crème Egg Cheesecake with Vanilla Ice-cream’ for £2.00 (£2.95 if I hadn’t bought a main course as well), as well as a large Diet Pepsi (£1.95). The staff are friendly and polite, and although it took about 20 minutes for the food to arrive, they brought my cutlery and any sauce I requested immediately.

The burgers were just cooked, only just for my taste, but succulent and full-flavoured, the cheese generous, I could have done with a bit more bacon, although it was just right in terms of how well it was cooked. Any longer and it would have been too crispy. The onion rings, fresh, home-made onion rings, were perfect. They actually tasted of onion for a start; they were hot, but not scolding, crispy and golden. The chips were also home-made, chunky and golden. There didn’t appear to be a lot at first sight but the size of them made up for that. The salad and coleslaw was no mere accompaniment either but an integral part of the meal. The coleslaw was fresh, and also home-made, large slices of cabbage, onion and carrot well covered by mayonnaise. It was lovely.

My dinner: The Barge gourmet burger, with chips and salad
My dinner: The Barge gourmet burger, with chips and salad

I wasn’t sure I’d have room for a pudding after the main course but I thought I’d give it a try. And I was well rewarded. The base was thick and the cheesecake topping creamy. The ice-cream was excellent quality.

 

All in all, though it is a little expensive, if you happen to be in Grimsby for any reason and want a decent meal, ignore McDonalds and take a walk to the Freshney. You can’t miss The Barge, it’s a bloody great big barge concreted into the dock.

Bye for now

Rose

Review: The City’s Son: Book 1 of the Skyscraper Throne

Tom Pollock

Jo Fletcher Books (Quercus)

2012

I picked this up in the library about two weeks ago and it’s taken me a while to get through it. I think it’s meant to be a YA fantasy, but I had trouble deciding who the target audience were. The main characters were certainly adolescent, but it could as easily be read by adults.

Set in contemporary London the story follows the adventures of teenage graffiti artist Beth Bradley and her best friend and poet of the streets Pen (Parva Khan) as they get drawn into the war between the Urchin Prince, Filius Viae, and Reach, the Crane King.

Switching between the viewpoints of Beth and Filius the story tells of the midnight encounter with a railwraith by Beth and her involvement with Filius, as Pen is fighting her own battles. Betraying her only friend after one particular night of artistic revenge on a bullying teacher, Pen loses Beth to the hidden London. Beth’s father goes in search of her and Pen comes along to help. Unfortunately they are ambushed by Reach’s minion ‘The Wire Mistress’ who takes Pen as her avatar.

Meanwhile Beth and Filius are trying to build an army while waiting for his Mother, the Goddess of the Streets to return and help them; an army of statues, and lamp people, and one homeless Russian. Plus a person made of rubbish.

In fighting the war many battles are won and lost, lives lost and choices made. Sometimes you have to make a deal, and pay the price in the end. But the price of victory might not be worth paying. Beth has to decide as she becomes Filia Viae to Filius’s Filius Viae.

Although it took me a while to read this, I enjoyed it and will probably read the next one. The book feels allegorical; do we allow skyscrapers and things of glass and steel to destroy the life found in old city streets, is it progress or the killing of a place to change it? Renewal or ripping away of life? These are clearly pressing matters to think on and a balance or compromise has to be found, as Beth does. We have decisions to make, will we choose right, strike the right bargains and are we willing to pay the price for our choices?

Bye, for now

Rose

Just as soon as I get my laptop to a wifi connection…

Good afternoon,

Having a bit of a lazy day today since my back is bad again. But I have managed to get a bit of writing done. I went out yesterday afternoon to a place that does children’s parties. Not because I’m weird, mostly groups of children irritate me, no, it was my godson’s birthday party. And since the venue is in a tourist town I thought I’d review it, for anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in Cleethorpes on a wet day. I shall probably post my review on Saturday.

Other than that I’ve been for a walk, did some of my computer course work and finished reading ‘The Black Butterfly’ by Mark Gatiss. And eaten six Cadbury’s Creme Eggs – which is not something I recommend anyone doing. I feel quite unwell now 😦

Bye,

Rose

Review: The wisdom of the Shire: A short guide to a long and happy life

Noble Smith

Hodder & Stoughton

2012

As I said yesterday, I don’t read self-help books but I got sucked in by the Tolkien canon concept. There’s a reason for this; I get the feeling that the authors of such books are a bit smug. They might not be, but why would you write a book telling people how to live, or reach enlightenment, or how to pull, if you don’t believe that you know it all already and are kindly dispensing your wisdom to the world? So I’m a bit cynical; I don’t care how long you’ve been a Tolkien ‘enthusiast’, otherwise known as a fan, have you got something new to say, or are you just taking advantage of the fact that the ‘Hobbit’ films are popular at the minute?

As it turns out Mr Smith has nothing new to say on living a good life: sleep when you’re tired, only take what is sufficient to life, don’t be greedy or grasping, be a good neighbour and friend, treat the earth with respect and be a part of your community. None of this is new, but using the characters from The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings as his exemplars is. Much of the information asterisked as footnotes are obvious, irrelevant to the main text or things already known by those who are fans of Middle Earth.

All that being said, Mr Smith is passionate about the subject and that is obvious from his writing and the personal examples included affected me. His plan for a small ‘Hobbit garden’ is an interesting extra, he missed out Sam’s nasturtiums though :D. Most of all it has pushed me back to my copy of The Lord of The Rings, which sits accusingly on my bedside table, demanding to know when I am going to carry on reading it? The answer is, later, after I’ve made my pack up for work tomorrow.

I wouldn’t particularly recommend this book as weekend reading, but if you happen to see it in the library and like Middle Earth it would be a new approach to the works of Tolkien.

Bye,

Rose

My Chemical Romance split

During my early morning Facebook and Twitter check yesterday (yeah, yeah, I know, but I couldn’t sleep) I heard that MCR had split up. Now these sort of rumours appear all the time about various bands so my first thought was ‘hoax’, but then I checked their website for news and the Kerrang! blog.

‘Tis a great shame, and rather unexpected, since I’d heard they were working on some new songs. I’d hoped to see them live next year. It’s no secret that until mid-2011 I had no interest whatsoever in music, it had just never been a part of my world, but now it is. MCR was/is one of my favourites. I like everything they’ve done.

I know people who have been fans for years, who say MCR saved them and who have their own preferred eras; it’s quite interesting that some people seem to prefer the album they heard first. I feel that in coming to them late, after they put out Danger Days, it means that rather than comparing an album to the one before, or a favourite, I’ve been able to see each album as the distinct entities they are, rather than having an expectation of more of the same. I can hear the transition between ‘Black Parade’ and ‘Danger Days’ in ‘Conventional Weapons’, and the increased polish between ‘Bullets’ and ‘Revenge’. Each album is enjoyable in it’s own right, yet all have the same message of hope to those in pain.

Decried as dangerous by tabloids and insulted as ’emo’, this band paired introspection and emotional lyrics with an almost punk aggression in their style of performing. They started out quite dark in song content and band imagery but changed and, importantly the music continually evolved as the Way’s and their friends grew up and changed themselves.

In the last twelve years MCR have made some memorable music. I personally love ‘Thank you for the venom’, ‘I’m not okay’ and ‘Boy Division’ as well as ‘Na, Na, Na (Na, Na, Na)’ and ‘Welcome to The Black Parade’. The lyrics are powerful and occasionally make me cry, for the pain the writer must have gone through to write something so beautiful, and for those who have been brought back from the brink by the music. For all that the videos for ‘Danger Days’ are in the same melancholic vein as their earlier work, the songs themselves never fail to make me smile. I love the graphic nature of the songs and the strong imagery they evoke.

But my opinion on My Chemical Romance’s musical style and image is not important right now; what I want to say is My Chemical Romance were one of the first bands I was ever a fan of, one of the first bands in who’s members I ever took an interest beyond ‘that sounds good, I suppose’. The music they made means a lot to me, and has been a great help to me at times. The band and their music also mean a great deal to some of my closest friends (including my 5 year old godson who, when I went to visit, announced before I had my coat off, ‘Rosie, we have bad news; MCR have split’; apparently he wailed when he was told by his mum. He’d wanted to go to see them next time they toured, his favourite song is ‘Sing’ and he adores the videos for ‘Danger Days’).

So, I’d like to thank them for the music.
And MCRmy/Killjoys; ‘You get a lifetime’, make the best of it. Keep going; they’re still living and creating so we will hear from them again, just maybe not as MCR.

Bye

Rose