I only got home from Autscape at 5.15pm on Thursday. It was amazing. I learnt so much from the most amazing people. It was a wonderful experience, among autistic people being themselves. People wondered around in a variety of clothing, with or without shoes. They joyfully engaged in games and arguments. I cried so much, from being overwhelmed by everything. I met some lovely people, played a great ttrpg campaign, and learned to spin from Jo the Spinner.
I’m still exhausted, so this might be a bit disjointed.
I attended two writing workshops at Autscape this week. I wrote several poems in the process, met some poets and writers, and a few Discworld fans. I am not the only Autistic person who thinks Sir Terry was Autistic!
The first writing workshop I went to was ‘NeurodiVERSE’ with Kate Fox and Janine Booth. I have a copy of Fox’s The Oscillations, and Booth’s Autism Equality in the Workplace: Removing Barriers and Challenging Discrimination. I bought a copy of NeurodiVERSE which they co-edited, and another poetry book from Kate Fox.
The first prompt was: In an ideal world
In an ideal world…
- We wouldn’t need Autscape
- We wouldn’t need this oasis of Auties, away from everyone else
- The food would be better
In an ideal world…
- Trees would dominate the world and lights wouldn’t buzz and sting
- And libraries would be fully funded
In an ideal world…
- I wouldn’t feel lost and alone, or lessened by their disbelief
- I wouldn’t feel anger at every ‘but you don’t look autistic’
In an ideal world
- I’d be in a swimming pool all the time
- Or a never-ending bookshop.
We followed this with writing a list of things we want to communicate in poetry and then write a poem about it. I eventually chose my love of fantasy special editions.
Special Edition #1
Grinning glee in a box
Folded in bubble wrap
A new treasure, just for me
Squealing glee
What will I find?
Shining covers protecting pictures, smooth under hands.
Colours and textures feeding me information in skin and eyes.
A new treasure, just for me.
Crack it open, hear the paper slide, the binding creak.
A new treasure, just for me.
Ink and paper, shade and weight – just right!
The heft, the tone, the contrast – Just right!
Feel it, see it, smell it.
Inhale. Imbibe. Take it all in before I read a word.
End papers rich in colours. Edges Sprayed. Gold foil, unique designs.
Special Editions.
I love them all. New treasures, just for me.
Special Editions #2
Touch
- Embossed covers
- Smooth plastic
- Rough paper
- Weight in my hands
- Weight on my fingers
Smell
- New paper
- Ink
- Brown
- The smell-taste of a newly opened special edition
- Breathing in the microscopic particles of ink, cellulose, air from another place.
Sight
- Rainbow paintings
- Little pieces of art
- Vibrant colours highlighted in gold
- A story told before a word is read.
- Sprayed edges and end papers – hints and chapters untold
Hearing
- Blue glide on fingers ocver pritective plastic
- Creak and crack of new books opening
- Sandpaper slide and shift of page on page.
Taste
- The taste-smell of a newly-opened special edition.
- Breathing in microscopic particles of ink, cellulose, air taking me away to another place.
The second workshop was based on the Writing East Midlands Beyond the Spectrum creative writing workshops. It was meant to be run by Pippa Hennessy, but she wasn’t well and her wife Rachel (I’ve probably got her name wrong – she’s a lecturer at one of the universities on Nottingham) ran the workshop instead. In 2020 I interviewed for a shadow writer job on the Beyond the Spectrum project. I didn’t get it, obviously. However, I learnt some useful information from both the workshop on Wednesday and the discussion on Thursday. I’m running a weekly writing workshop at Neurospace in October to December for Faraway, and it turns out the Beyond the Spectrum are trying to find funding for a three-year project, rolled out across the country, and partner organisations to host the workshops. There might be a chance for us to work together in future.
Pippa and Rachel are lovely people.
The first poem I wrote had the prompt:
The best thing about being Autistic.
The best thing about being Autistic is my brain’s ability to make unexpected, often entertaining, and sometimes very weird connections between seemingly unconnected concepts, ideas, and events.
The best thing about being Autistic is monotropic flow – learning all the things – and monologuing – sharing all the things!
The best thing about being Autistic is knowing myself better, understanding how I process.
The best thing about being Autistic is hearing the birds sing, even when there’s traffic; smelling the changes in the weather; spotting the unexpected wildlife; touching the wind; tasting the sea on the air.
The best thing about being Autistic is senses that take in everything – when I’m out in nature.
The second exercise involved writing a list of things that bring me joy, then choose one to write notes about, describing it. Then we had to think about two people who don’t get it and write down what they might say. Finally, I had to write a poem or prose that will help people understand.
I chose the potato, because I’ve just harvested the first potaotes from the allotment.
Ode to the humble spud
Trodden into the dark, cold, wet earth, a mucky old spud.
Buried under layer after layer as leaves of emerald sprout, uncurl from the sodden clay. Only to disappear again.
Still you keep in growing, you, the seed potato, who in time becomes a multitude, seeding, growing, accidentally left in the ground.
Starch hoarded to feed the plants until sunlight and warmth return. Going mushy, rotting when you’re used up all your stores.
Don’t put a fork through it!
Leaves sprout and spread, stems lengthen and slouch against each other in ranks and squares
(And in the stack of tyres, because we had to use them for something).
Forgotten brethren appearing unexpected among the peas and sweetcorn. And the flower beds.
Roots swelling as flowers like stars bloom against a field-sky.
New potatoes from mud and a mucky old spud.
Some people were kind enough to say they enjoyed my poems when I read them out. I put a certain intonation into my reading, so it’s possible they found that entertaining rather than the actual work.
I hope you enjoyed them.
Everything Is Better With Dragons 