Annoying myself

So, it’s official, I’m an idiot.

One of my coping mechanisms when I have stuff going round my brain is to write it down like a blog post then hit the little rubbish bin.

Except this afternoon I hit publish by accident and something was published that should never have seen the light of day. Luckily, only two or three people saw it, and one of them rang me to tell me. I’ve taken my rantings down obviously, and deleted the links I could find, but still the damage might have been done.

I’ve been ruminating on it for the last two hours, but now I feel better. Writing works as catharsis but I need to remember when it’s appropriate to publish my thoughts and when it isn’t.

I need to find a less risky cathartic outlet, just in case I forget. Again.

Apology for escaped draft.

Sorry, a post went up earlier that is a draft, I was internally ranting and writing stuff down helps me work through it; I find the writing then deleting cathartic.

I probably insulted people I shouldn’t have because I was irritated about a few things.

If I’ve offended anyone I apologise profusely, the thoughts were never meant to see the light of day.

I’ve decided to do a writing course

Morning all, having a good weekend? I hope so. I had a rather disappointing day yesterday but I’m back on with the positive thought patterns at the moment.
Continue reading “I’ve decided to do a writing course”

Choo! Choo!

http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/767391
http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/767391

My granddad’s pride and joy was his train track. He’d turned the box room in to his train room and it was out of bounds to us children unless supervised by a responsible adult. The only adult considered responsible was my granddad himself. After my grandma died when I was nine I spent a lot of time with Granddad, we used to go to model railway meetings sometimes. They were like fairs, held in scout huts and prefab village halls. I had a small collection of model railway magazines. It was fun, mainly because I got to spend time with Granddad Billy without my sisters and cousins, and I got treat to sweets and other junk food granddad really shouldn’t have given me.

Continue reading “Choo! Choo!”

The Human Garden

Firstly, I’d like to mention the book The Way of Tenderness by Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, a Buddhist clergywoman and writer, which prompted these thoughts. I will include a review of this book in January’s book reviews post. I have been reading this book lately and have found in it some intriguing and resonant metaphors. The author describes humanity as being plants in a garden, each with it’s own form and identity, yet all part of the garden as a whole.

Such a beautiful image.

http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/231339
http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/231339

Continue reading “The Human Garden”

Not New At All

This lady, she talks sense.

Fat Heffalump's avatarFat Heffalump

Happy New Year!!

This is where I spend at least a month being absolutely astonished that it is 2015 already.  It happens to me every year, you’d think I’d get used to it by now.

I have a love/hate relationship with New Year.  I love the fresh feeling of a new year, all the potential laid out in front of me, even though it’s arbitrary.  I love having Christmas (which is a difficult time for me) behind me.

But for the love of all things sacred, I fucking hate all the resolutions, New Year/New Body/New Me, let’s get fit/get healthy/off the couch, the public announcements of how “good I’m going to be this year” bullshit.  It’s like a fucking tsunami of thinly veiled moralism coated in self aggrandisement.  It’s the once-a-year parade of “Look what a good cookie I am!”

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for self…

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I am only resolved to act in that manner, which…

…will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or any person so wholly unconnected with me.

Yes, I did just quote Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice.

Firstly, Happy New Year.

Secondly, thanks for reading my scribbling for another year.

Thirdly, I’m not going to add to the list of bloggers sharing their New Year’s Resolutions. Continue reading “I am only resolved to act in that manner, which…”