Author Archives: R Cawkwell

Well, my second day at university has been and gone. It was an interesting day.

 In the morning workshop three people had submitted work for feedback, including me. I was very impressed by the other pieces, though I only got to read one of them. My writing is positively amateurish compared to everyone else. I did get some useful feedback and information about formatting though which I’ve acted on. I’m going to develop the idea further and possibly use it as my assessment piece. I’ve already written another thousand words on it. The only problem with that is, now I’ve been told it’s funny I’m going to have to stop myself from trying to be funny, because experience tells me that that way leads to tortured prose and no being funny.

My afternoon seminar was not too bad. My poem was out of sync with everyone else, who used the opportunity to write about emotional events. Very well, I might add. My choice of poem by someone else was also not in line with the rest. I don’t think I’m going to get good scores for this module. This week’s homework is to write ten lines about shoes. I’ve done that already and it’s sparked an idea for my assessment for this part of the module.

University is having an interesting affect on my mental state. In the morning I’m aware but as the workshop goes on I begin to get more and more impatient with people. By the afternoon seminar I’m mentally exhausted and I can’t give decent feedback. I’m getting overwhelmed by the experiences the others write about, which combined with the exhaustion means my focus goes entirely. It’s taking two days for me to recover mental stability. I really don’t want to be around people and I’m exhausted still on a Friday afternoon. I had to miss sewing and craft club this week because I just wasn’t up to being around people.

Physically, things aren’t much better. Since I had to walk up to the station in record time on Wednesday morning I’ve been hurting just a tad. The train doesn’t help, the seats are too low and close together so I’m squashed, which doesn’t help my hip or back. The chairs in my work shop and seminar are uncomfortable and they have those tables attached on swing arms rather than proper desks. I’m cramped and can’t get myself settled comfortably in them. 

I’m determined to keep going and I refuse to let my messed up brain and my back injury stop me from studying and doing the best I can. I’m in the process of arranging my DSA assessment, I’m just waiting to hear back from the welfare centre at uni for an appointment. I’m also still waiting to hear about my initial assessment for a psychologist’s assessment with the local mental health team. It’ll all get sorted eventually.

Today I plan to do very little other than sort out what stock I’m taking to the craft fair tomorrow and walking the dogs later on. I might work on the novel although I’m fighting the urge to go and reformat the first two novels and start editing.