Review: This Us How We Are Human, by Louise Beech

Sebastian James Murphy is twenty years, six months and two days
old. He loves swimming, fried eggs and Billy Ocean. Sebastian is autistic. And lonely.

Veronica wants her son Sebastian to be happy, and she wants the world to accept him for who he is. She is also thinking about paying a professional to give him what he desperately wants.

Violetta is a high-class escort, who steps out into the night thinking
only of money. Of her nursing degree. Paying for her dad’s care.
Getting through the dark.

When these three lives collide, and intertwine in unexpected ways,
everything changes. For everyone.

Both heartbreaking and heartwarming, This Is How We Are
Human is a powerful, moving and thoughtful drama about a
mother’s love for her son, about getting it wrong when we think
we know what’s best, about the lengths we go to care for family
and to survive.

‘Storytelling at its finest, Louise Beech is a beguiling wordsmith’ Amanda Prowse

“Though This is How We Are Human is fiction, the premise was inspired by my friends, 20-year-old Sean, who is autistic, and his mum Fiona. Fiona had spoken to me about how much Sean longed to meet a girl and have sex. No one talks about this, she said – the difficulties navigating romance often
faced by those on the spectrum. It ’s an issue that I wanted to explore. Fiona and Sean encouraged me and guided me through the book; Sean regularly consulted on dialogue, rightly insisting that his voice was heard, was strong, and was accurate. I cannot thank my extraordinary friends enough for their help and support.” Louise Beech

My Review

Thanks to Anne for organising the blog tour, Karen for having a few ARCs printed and sending me one, and to Louise for writing this book. I have met all of them, they’re lovely.

I also want to thank Louise for being honest about this not being an #OwnVoices book and taking the trouble to actually talk to an autistic family about their experiences. So many people don’t bother, they see something from the outside and assume they know all about autism.

Sebastian is 20 years old. He’s Autistic. He lives with his mum in a big house in a village outside Hull. His dad has been dead for 13 years. I feel sorry for him, living near Hull must be awful. (This is a cross-Humber joke and not serious. There are some very pretty places in the East Riding and some decent humans from there.)

Veronica is 55, a widow for 13 years. He life for twenty years has been all about Sebastian. Protecting him, fighting for his right to an education, to be treated fairly. But she’s fallen into the trap so many parents of autistic people do, and many professionals, of not letting their child grow up, of not letting them live their own lives, make mistakes and learn from them. Of infantilising adults because their brains work differently.

Isabelle is the 29 year old daughter of a casino magnate who had an accident. She’s training to be a nurse, specialising in people with learning disabilities and autism. When her dad goes into a coma she is compelled to care for him at home but there’s limited funds, so, reluctantly, she becomes a student nurse by day and an escort by night. She hates it and is subject to some terrible abuse.

Autism is not a learning disability, but people tend to assume if you’re autistic you also have a learning disability. There is some overlap with things like dyslexia and dyscalculia, but what people usually mean when they say learning disability is an intellectual impairment of some kind, a presumed lack of intelligence. Nothing wrong with having an LD, I know a few people who have and they’re fun, inquisitive and have very protective parents. Some are entitled arseholes, but that’s an entirely different conversation…

Veronica is desperate. Sebastian wants a girlfriend, is obsessed with sex. She doesn’t think a ‘normal’ girl could possibly want Sebastian, and she doesn’t want to give him drugs to reduce his urges, so she looks for a sex worker online. When she recognises Isabelle under the pseudonym of ‘Violetta’, she gives her a call.

It all goes a bit wobbly after that. Not the writing or the plot. They are strong and I love the use of three different perspectives to tell the story. I’m glad the author got autistic input for the Sebastian chapters. It got wobbly because the events were conflicting and painful. I so wanted to tell Veronica to go back to college or start a hobby and find a life for herself outside of being ‘Sebastian’s Mum’. And to stop babying him!

I admit I struggled through the first 80 pages and I kept putting off reading the rest, afraid it would go badly, but I’ve just sat on the loo for 3 hours and read the other 209 pages because I couldn’t put it down. The three main characters go through a lot of personal development, realise their own short-comings and try to make amends, as well as come to terms with events in their lives.

I admit I cried a few times in the second half of the book. There’s so much love and anguish there. It’s a proper belter. I was so happy for Sebastian when he opened up about his friend, and for Isabelle when her dad starts to get better. The ending was very hopeful for everyone.

I think Beech captures the complex relationship dynamics between parents and children well, especially as children become adults and seek their own path. For a parent so used to having to fight for their child, letting go is hard.

I’m not sure about her depiction of sex work. Not in my range of experiences, so I can’t make assumptions, but I know society says it’s bad and that sex workers must be miserable or have a pressing need to do it, and that they have to be saved in some way. Some of the plot reinforces this, although Sebastian’s insistence that there’s nothing wrong with paying for sex is a refreshing counterpoint.

I do like the way Isabelle deals with one of her former abusive clients at one point though. He’s very lucky he survived. I’d publish his abuses anonymously and then send them to the GMB along with complaints about how he treats patients. But violence works well, too.

I was very emotionally invested in this book, partly because I so much want to find a decent depiction of autistic people written by non-autistic writers, but mostly because the writing is so good, the subject so emotive and conflict-inducing, and partly because the Humber and swimming feature heavily.

And I learnt this week that people do in fact provide sex workers for their adult children…the things you learn on a suicide intervention course…

Highly recommend this book.

I have two more Orenda Books tours booked so far, in July, a couple of new crime novels from Will Carver and Eva Bjorg AEgisdottir, so you know they’re going to be good. Before that, I have three new Heide Goody and Iain Grant novels to read – the Sam Applewhite series.

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ABOUT LOUISE BEECH

The author of Maria in the Moon, The Lion Tamer Who Lost and I Am Dust
returns with a beautifully written, powerful and thought-provoking novel
that will warm your heart. Louise Beech is an exceptional literary talent, whose debut novel How To Be Brave was a Guardian Readers’ Choice for 2015. The follow-up, The Mountain in My Shoe was shortlisted for Not the Booker Prize. Both of her previous books Maria in the Moon and The Lion Tamer Who Lost were widely reviewed, critically acclaimed and number-one bestsellers on Kindle. The Lion Tamer Who Lost was shortlisted for the RNA Most Popular Romantic Novel Award in 2019. Her 2019 novel Call Me
Star Girl won Best magazine Book of the Year, and was followed by I Am Dust.